Things that make my brain hurt, volume 4368739874343

- The guy outside the gym chain smoking. Why?

- The need for 10 strips of bacon to be on every fast food sandwich. Don't get me wrong, I dig bacon. There has to come a time where enough is enough with bacon though.

- This woman from accouting at one of the companies I deal with. She's just so stupid. We only charged the mailer $8 per thousand for something but they have a select cap of $10 per thousand and she wants to know why we didn't charge her $10 per thousand. That would be like if you were out shopping and you had a budget of $250 and the things you wanted cost $235. It would be arguing that you should give someone $250 because that's what you had to give them. No. No no. You lose

Ha

So Jamie dropped his phone in the toliet and now it doesn't work. He does not find that funny. Everyone else in my family does.

Last night, I came home from the gym, saw the fatty tubby baby Oliver and put him outside in the garage. That is where he sleeps at night. I still had my shoes on and it was almost 10 PM and I figured my mom would ask me to do it anyway. I come back in the house, go downstairs to check my email and then...this exchange happens. Will is upstairs in the kitchen and my dad is in the living room. My mom was upstairs and then came downstairs

**walks into kitchen**
Mom: Where's Oliver?
Will: Sarah put him away
**walks into living room**
Mom: Where's Oliver?
Dad: Sarah put him away in the garage
**goes over to the side door and calls for Oliver then walks back into the living room**
Mom: Where is Oliver?
**calls down the stairs**
Mom: Sarah, did you put Oliver away in the garage?
Me: Nope, I threw him outside and hoped for the best
Mom: I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY NO ONE CAN BE SERIOUS IN THIS HOUSE AND GIVE ME A STRAIGHT ANSWER TO A SERIOUS QUESTION BLAH BLAH BLAH YELLING NOISES

Even though everyone told her, she decided not to listen. Fabulous.