Nope, not telling

I was singing "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry all day at work. It's super catchy. I kind of love it. After the 4th time I sang it, PBFW says "have you ever kissed a girl?"
I said that it wasn't appropriate work time talk. Cause it wasn't. She told me to tell her later in the parking lot and she would keep it on the DL.

Sure. But not really

Fridays here....

PBFW is telling us she may not be fertile when she gets married. What the hell does that even mean? I don't know. This is amazing. She's just talking and making no sense. PBFW says that she's skinny and has no boyfriend and doesn't know how that can be. She's hoping the infant will grow up. PBFW told him that she was seeing someone else to make him jealous. My god. It is time to throw her in the river.


PBFW: match.com is for weirdos

This is everyday of my life. EVERYDAY.

Ollie story

Ollie last night was crying at his baby and chewing on its head. He's been doing that a lot and I'm not exactly sure why. And then I think he was humping it, but I really can’t be sure. He was making love in the basement. To a stuffed animal

Jamie-isms

Jamie was home for the long weekend. He's the stuff he came up with:
- After my mom asked if he wanted some 3 bean salad - "I DON'T WANT ANY BEANS IN MY FUCKING LIFE"
- after she asked if he wanted something else - "why do you always make shit for dinner?"
- after I took a 2X4 away from him: "you fucking jerkass"

We know he shouldn't be swearing like this, but whenever he does, we all just laugh. We're encouraging him, we know

awkwardddddddd

PBFW: who makes love in the club? Who has sex in a bathroom?
Me: skanks
PBFW: You don't have love in the club, you have sex in the club.

Poor girl

PBFW and her boyfriend (he's 19, we call him The Infant) apparently have broken up and it's for serious this time. They break up and get back together just about every week, but none of us arond here like him. We don't know him, but we know he's controlling and an asshole. And somehow still in high school. PBFW is very sad today and I feel bad for her because having your heart broken, even by someone that doesn't deserve to have your heart in the first place, is very sad. I was very sad last time my heart was broken, but I fixed it. Regardless of the heart breakin', she's got a great outfit:
-bright pink peasant top
-the jean skirt that's slit up to her hoo-hoo
-black leggings with lace at the bottom
-cork heeled wedges with pink straps.

For realsies

Tomorrow!

I am going to lunch with LP, LB and Pattycake. I don't even know if I can stand the excitement. I can only imagine what sort of drugs I am going to have to take to deal with that. Also, I need to remind myself not to poison Pattycake. I think that would be bad...right?